I have two magnets in my office on my bookshelf. They both have a north and south pole. Conflict is not a dirty word but it starts to become hurtful in people’s past when the magnets polarities both face towards each other at the same time. When time is not given to both perspectives. Couples therapy allows a third party to come along in the form of a couples therapist to slow things down and simply flip the magnets around so that instead of repelling each other they can connect. It sounds easy because it is that simple, we are all similar in that the solution to most problems would simply be to hear and be heard.

What is more romantic than meeting each other’s emotional needs in love through the continued habit of saying and showing I am here? The foundation of trust grows into a house of loyalty as the years melt away.

The antidote to co-dependence is ownership of your own story. The ability to craft a story about yourself based in self-differentiation and independence of other’s ownership over your story. The problems, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others still matter within the story; however, the story’s protagonist is not someone else, but you. The story is about how you took responsibility for the problem, accepted and listened to your own thoughts and emotions, and then acted in a way consistent with your beliefs and identity.

I will not be the therapist with a notepad taking notes while you lay on the couch or Robin Williams trying to shake sense into you while feeding the birds and talking about Boston. What I hope to provide in your counseling experience is someone that listens to you and understands, someone that feels safe to be vulnerable around, and someone that can sit beside you as you go through growth and change, when you feel stuck, or are experiencing pain. The relationship in therapy is both professional and personal, and I hope that it will be a strong one.